Hi Whitney,

You've been suffering from a perpetual problem of our society. We strive to reach our goals, stay in shape, and keep up with the Joneses. 

We strive so hard we push ourselves beyond our capacity in some way, be it mental, emotional, physical, spiritual, or some combination of the former. 

We are human and have limits, and through all this pushing, judging, and condemning, we lose track of our true self. 

We become our job ... our things ... and our ego identity. 😔

But the true you is still there! The essence of you, the little 3-year-old girl who would have loved to sing and dance through a rainstorm☔ without a care about what anyone else thought... Now she is tucked away, protected (and burdened) by your judgment, your ego, your job, your things... 

Your essence is inside of you, waiting out the storm, tucked away until she feels safe to come out and play. Do you want to see this part of yourself again? Would you like to laugh, 😂 and sing, 🎤and feel carefree again, even for a moment? 

And to drive that point home, here's a picture of people waiting out a storm. 😉 (from www.summitpost.com)

The best way to make her feel safe to come out ... is to show her love. 

Imagine how she feels right now. The person she wants to love her the most tells her all the time "You suck! I hate you. You're such a disappointment. Work harder, and then maybe I'll love you." 🤬 Imagine how that lands in the soul. 😨 She is hurt, but she is not broken. 💘 She is hiding, and she's taken your joy with her. The more you shame, blame, and abuse her, the less joy will be yours. I know it can be really difficult to hear, but I hope this truth hits home for you because this awareness is an important step in repairing your relationship with her! The good news is that you can turn and go on a journey to joy! 😀

Your action item this week is simply to change your self-talk. Imagine talking to that little part of you that wants so badly to be loved and accepted. Say "I love you" to yourself multiple times per day, especially at times when you feel down.

Say something like "You've been through a lot. I'm proud of you, and I'm sorry for being so critical, judgemental, and mean. I am going to be more patient with you. I'm going to listen to you from now on. I love you. I love my body. I am so grateful for all the things my body allows me to do, like breath, walk, sleep... I love my heart. I love that my heart is so wise it changes its rhythm all by itself. I love that my heart can love. I'm going to respect myself, take care of myself, and show myself that I mean it when I say "I love you".

Whitney, there are more steps in this process, but for right now, all I want you to focus on is repairing this relationship with your estranged self. Loving yourself lays the foundation for building the life you want and deserve. 

So, instead of judging, berating, or being angry 🤬 with yourself, be understanding, patient and encouraging.😇 Support her (your spirit) in her endeavors! Encourage her! "It might be a small step, but it's a step in the right direction!" YES!! Allow her to show up as part of you, the cute, fun, playful part. Let her blossom, little by little, right there in your current life...

at your current job,

in your current home,

at your current weight.

You don't have to change anything to love yourself and find happiness. You need first to love yourself and find happiness BEFORE you can actually change. 🤯

Practice holding these two viewpoints at the same time:

1. On one hand, you love and accept yourself just the way you are.

2. AND at the same time, you want to continue to grow, evolve, maintain, and improve.

Hold these two thoughts, and continuously find the balance between them, again and again. First build the foundation of self-love and acceptance. Then you will start making quantum shifts with little effort.

Loving Kindness Meditation and feminine flow embodiment practice are also great ways to practice loving and accepting yourself and your reality just the way it is, in the present moment.

Relax. Exhale. Move. Release. Feel. Express. Love. 

Over the years, you've worked hard to create a life in the physical world (your career, your identity, being good and liked, etc.) but now your spirit inside is suffering because you've grown too harsh. Your task now is to practice nurturing your physical self (including your real-world demands) while also nurturing, caring for, and loving your spiritual self, that little part of you that's scared, sad, and holding back because she's been threatened into submission. 😟

If any of this resonates with you,

and you want to improve your self-love,

come to my free Self-Love Workshop: 


You CAN change your relationship with yourself. And you have my support. 

With love, 


P.S. - Here's my calendar. I invite you to schedule time with me if you want to talk. 

Whitney Kobrin
Dating & Relationship Expert